Tag Archive | Online dating service

Saving Time and Dating Online

Sep22

Relax..Finding Love Online is Possible

Modern society seems like such a rush, all the time. Unless you’re retired (and who retires anymore?) you’re probably dashing around all day, every day, following a schedule or at least marking off items on a to-do list that never seems to get any shorter. Our days are hectic, our nights are precious, and our weekends fully booked far in advance. And that’s if you’re married! For singles, we have to make time for dates, too. It can feel stressful, scary and like a real time-suck. But thanks to online dating, your romantic life could be as efficient as a well-oiled machine. And a lot more fun, unless that machine happens to be a Ferrari.

Frankly, I don’t know how many people would date at all if it weren’t for the internet… Some work 50 hours a week, play a sport, try to get to the gym and have children from a previous relationship.  Once you’ve managed all that you have very little time to find love… And dating, by definition, is hit or miss. It’s a numbers game where you have to take a lot of shots in the dark to get a hit.

With online dating, you maximize your time and your odds.  First off, your profile should be specific about your favourite dating activities, your relationship dealbreakers, your turn-ons and turn-offs, and your sense of humor.  That makes it  pretty clear who you are and what your looking for.  Most people who aren’t your type usually pass on you at the profile stage.  This is a GOOD thing and saves you time right there.  Just remember do NOT have any negatives and ensure your profile is always upbeat and positive.

When you are looking at profiles, use advanced search parameters to refine your search as specifically as possible.  Take the time to reference at least a couple of things in the person’s profile when you contact them…Ask them questions and engage them in a conversation—believe me, it’s worth it.

If you get to stage two and actually communicate,  it’s because you like each other’s profiles. As you’ve contacted them they definitely fit your requirements for age, race, geography, lifestyle choices and so on.  So, even before you’ve had a single conversation, you know there’s more romantic potential for you with that person than with eight out of ten people on the planet.  Think about that! And all you’ve invested is a membership fee, the time to prepare a good profile, and some engaging emails. That’s it.  On a weekly basis, you would spend more time drinking coffee or watching TV and this is much more important than that!

So, what’s next? An extended IM exchange, a phone call or a bunch of emails. Still, it rarely takes more than half an hour all told. Then you reach the point where you BOTH decide—sometimes right away, sometimes after a little more conversation—that a date is in order.

By the time you get to the first date  you’ve already got a proven chemistry and if everyone’s been honest,  there aren’t any major roadblocks to getting together on a more permanent basis

So, if you are time poor online dating is great way to find love and best of all you can do it in your jammies and have a bad hair day…and they will never know :)

NB:  I met my husband online 10 years ago.  We are still going strong and I would NEVER have met him any other way!  Think about that next time you think about finding love :)

Find Me The Right Guy

Aug31

Searching for the right guy online can be frustrating

At least twice a day I have a woman who is new to love coaching who’s first sentence to me is “Find Me The Right Guy!!”

I would like you all to know it’s not possible…..why?  Because I am not YOU!

You see we all have our own special type of  ”look” we prefer to others….for some it’s the GQ look, for other it’s more preppy and for others still its goatees and shaved heads that rock their boat and isn’t that wonderful!  See life would be pretty boring if we all liked one type of man.

When I ask what the “right” guy is I get a variety of answers but for most women it’s a guy who’s attentive to her…doesn’t screw around or drink too much…who’s got a J.O.B and SINGLE!  There is one way to find the right guy for you and that’s to get out there and find him.

Online there are a variety of sites which range from super huge membership like Match.com to many of the niche sites.   I recommend that the niche sites are the way to go and here’s a few reasons why.   Online dating is like being at a party but instead of a guy spotting you in a crowd of say 50 other women and coming over to talk to you….you are at a party with thousands if not hundreds of thousands.

Online Love

This is where niche sites work best as you are able to connect with other singles of similar interests….sites like ChristianCafe.com or InteracialDatingCentral.com cater to people looking for a specific belief or dating style.  There are also sites for BBW’s and people with Herpes (yes I said Herpes) HIV, Seniors, people with disabilities and Pet Lovers and the list goes on and on.   So by connecting to smaller sites, whilst there is a smaller membership base, the chances of finding people with whom you have things in common are greatly increased…in other words you have more chance of finding the “right guy”

Google is your friend…think about the types of things you would like to do or qualities you would like in a man and google that word and the word dating…you will be surprised at the number of sites around that cater for any interest or moral.

Lastly I don’t recommend the bigger sites…it’s very easy to get lost in the sea of faces and site like E-Harmony where you have to rely on them to knowing your type….based on a questionnaire.  Computer do not get human chemistry and just because you both like the colour red does not  a perfect match make.

So get yourself out there and find the right guy….sure he may be looking for you too but we all know men never stop to ask directions when they are lost :)

Three Little Word Online Daters Hate!

Feb26

If it was only this simple

You know, over the past few weeks I have really been checking out various online profiles and discovered one of the things that everyone says they hate reading. Three little words called Find Out Later. I can hear you right now, “Yeah I hate that when I read a profile and it’s full of those”

Well, to those of you who have taken the time to complete their profile thoroughly WELL DONE! Now, for the rest of you!

Did you know that the ONLY way that someone if going to find you is if you complete your profile?  People perform searches on things like religious preferences, ethnicity, height and even keywords in your profile  like kayaking, fishing, sport, wine, cooking etc. So without that information they are literally searching for a needle in a haystack and YOU are the needle!

Your profile is your chance to make a good first impression on someone so sharing something of yourself with them in VERY important. A person who is not fully committed to the idea of meeting someone online probably hasn’t completed their profile or has dozens of them on every free dating site they can find.  They have the concept that there is someone out there that is perfect for them and by setting up a profile on a  multitude of websites they can sit back and wait for the responses to roll it.

They rarely search for people they are interested in and when they do, they generally just send them a wink or a flirt without ever having a profile complete and then wonder why no-one ever replies. So it’s the site’s fault right? No!, when someone receives a message from you the very first thing they will do is read your profile, if there is nothing there then you aren’t likely to get a reply. A person who doesn’t create a good profile is almost guaranteed to fail on any online dating site and in the process take a hit to their ego because by the time they give up, they feel like everyone can find someone online except for them so they just keep cancelling their free profile and move on to the next site. No commitment and just a little more jaded about the whole online dating process.

From my experiences those who have the best chance of finding love on the internet are the most willing to put the effort into it. They research the sites to find which one is the best for them, they carefully create their profile and update it constantly so that it really shows off who they are. When they look for people they like, they send emails not just flirts.

So don’t wait to hear from a friend about how they just got engaged to someone they met online, take the time and the effort to get rid of those find out laters. Remember, if you were selling a car you wouldn’t put an ad in the newspaper saying “Car For Sale…Find out later” so why sell yourself short?

Aren’t you your greatest asset? Don’t you deserve for that special someone to find you?

The best thing that you can do for yourself go to your profile right now and pretend it was someone else’s profile. Is it negative? Does it just say the same thing as lots of other profiles?  Does it really reflect the sort of person you are and what you are seeking? If not, revise it right now…and let’s see how much better those responses will be…

What the $#%@ is a Love Coach?

Feb25

Karen needed a Love Coach

If you’ve ever looked at your profile and felt like something might be missing, this story is for you.

Karen had just joined a dating site. For her providing the basic information was no problem, but when she faced the “Who Am I?” portion of her new dating profile, Karen felt what many singles do—paralysis.

“I know who I am, but how do I convey my personality through my profile?” she wondered. What were the qualities the right person would appreciate about her, and how could she illustrate them in an appealing way? What exactly was she looking for in a relationship, and what were the traits her mate had to have?

Karen struggled to come up with enough of an answer to meet the requirement for an essay’s minimum length. “I knew that if I wanted my profile approved, I’d better write something,” she laughs. But what to write, and how to write it?

As a love coach I  gave Karen the insights she was after because I  know nearly everything there is to know about dating profiles. During our love coach session, Karen received a thorough review of her profile and personalised advice on how to get better responses—from the right people.

“I figured that she would know what a ‘great’ profile looks like,” Karen says, explaining her decision to schedule a Love Coach Session with me. “So why not get some expert advice?”

I helped Karen by giving  her a bunch of personalised profile-writing pointers. One tip was to write your profile as if you’re talking to your date over a cup of coffee. A casual, conversational voice is not only more fun to read, it gives the reader a better feel for who you are and how you talk. “Jackie said to think about the kind of things I would tell someone about myself,” Karen remembers. “She also read through my profile, line by line, and gave direct feedback on it.”

To punctuate the flashes of humor in Karen’s writing, I suggested that Karen throw in an “LOL” or two. I also advised that it was important to be smiling in her profile photos, as this creates a friendly and approachable vibe. Karen was in good shape there—she had a nice smile in every shot. Finally, I explained how specific tweaks would help Karen’s essay garner more responses from the people she hoped to hear from.

“I took her advice and made the suggested adjustments,” Karen says. “I have received more contact from men, more views, and have started communicating with more people. The Love Coach session  is incredible and has really enhanced my online dating experience. Thanks, Jackie!”

You’re welcome Karen :)

One thing you really need to think about….if you are sick you go to the Doctor…if you wanted to get fit you would go to the gym and perhaps get yourself a personal trainer.   Having a love coach is exactly the same but it’s about helping you find happiness and love…and isn’t that the BEST thing you can find?

If you feel love coaching could help you, feel free to contact me  jackie@lovecoach.com.au Continue reading →